tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360413085998158633.post7839264570930335137..comments2013-10-31T07:32:05.554-07:00Comments on Habits & Contradictions: Eggers EmulationAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10719808480713172688noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360413085998158633.post-67435862457995917192013-10-23T21:03:57.388-07:002013-10-23T21:03:57.388-07:00I definitely knew immediately which paragraph you ...I definitely knew immediately which paragraph you were imitating here. I think it's interesting how much the decor of a house can tell you about its inhabitants, and you start to touch on that here but stop before you really get anywhere. I agree with Jim - the black hole of momness starts to suck away some of the meaning I'm getting out of this. How else can you characterize her, if she's mean to be the subject of your piece? What kind of person is she? <br />However, your concrete details about your house are splendid. I can picture the bear wallpaper like it's right in front of me and believe me, I don't want to be looking at it either!Jules Colemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02975298997124895257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360413085998158633.post-61662158779555863292013-10-23T13:05:24.871-07:002013-10-23T13:05:24.871-07:00Yeah. This is the opening to a larger story. As lo...Yeah. This is the opening to a larger story. As long as it's not about Grizzley Moms.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03007804760439414596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360413085998158633.post-35971915672312339162013-10-23T13:04:41.021-07:002013-10-23T13:04:41.021-07:00I like that Kristen's asking for more. Where&#...I like that Kristen's asking for more. Where's the beef? Said Scott Zolak. As with others, this paragraph promises some essayistic meaning--something about your relationship with madre--but comes up short. That said, it's pretty nicely done, really specific, and the sort of small thing I love to see discussed.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03007804760439414596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360413085998158633.post-44479520312912503382013-10-22T19:06:40.563-07:002013-10-22T19:06:40.563-07:00I like how you described the color of your bathroo...I like how you described the color of your bathroom basement as "safe". It's a way I wouldn't expect "safe" to be used, and I think it cleverly shows the average color choice your parents decided on. On the other hand, I think your introduction about family style is a bit too vague. If I were to read only the English equivalent of the lede, I wouldn't know if you're talking about clothing style, decoration style or the style with which you trim your shrubbery. See what I'm saying?<br />I think this essay is entertaining overall, but it suffers from the long acronym Dave wrote on the board once — essentially the insertion of "mom" without any description of why she's important beyond her "momness". The only thing I know about her is that she likes to pick decor based on its ability to make her laugh. If you wanted to expand on this, I'd insert a little more description of your mother's personality.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18221061724314783265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360413085998158633.post-85135994412901105912013-10-22T15:23:30.701-07:002013-10-22T15:23:30.701-07:00Chris,
I think you have a really good start to thi...Chris,<br />I think you have a really good start to this piece. Relating your wall paper to what type of personality your mom has is interesting, but it is something that Eggers would probably do, too. I like the personification you use to describe the dancing bears, using words such as "leaping". This piece gives us a little insight of who your mom is, but I think you can add a little bit more detail about her here! Also, can you tie this back to yourself? How does this "wallpaper" play into the person you think you are today? Is there any correspondence you can think of? Overall, good work as always! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12849771308488987841noreply@blogger.com